Fleeting

I would like to say that it is getting better, but it's only temporary. From time to time I laugh and mean it, or I'm smiling without intention; but most of the time I am wishing my mind were off the matter and that I didn't miss him so much. I could send a hundred cards to postsecret and I'd still have things to say because it's just a spring that flows endlessly.

Even now, I don't want to write about it because I don't even want to think about it. I need some distraction.

Until then...

I remember when I found it. I know what it is, I know how it feels, but I don't know where it is these days. I am lonely and longing for it, but it's hiding from me now. It's a mistake to believe that it's a permanent state of being. Enlightenment is an understanding that comes upon us are we are more awake and alive than we ever thought possible. People can't help but revel in our glow. I've been told that [sic] "it's as if every pore in my body opens up to take in the world and says 'Yes!'" I love that feeling, that moment, that experience...but I am far from that girl right now. I miss her.

Thank you, Carol MacVey; thank you, postsecret. Follow the link, be the light.