You'll never know.

You tell me,
after 19 years of kindred spirits, soulmates;
5 years together, committed;
how, after I consistently give love and support,
and wait;
you say you're done
and hang up.

Yeah, I'll say. Asshat. No matter...I have learned here that despite my instinct, habit, and intuition to do so; I no longer protect you. I take care of MYSELF...ME now. I am not wrong here. You are unnecessarily unkind to me, and I don't deserve it. Never did. You want me out; I'm out. However, you now stand alone in the graveyard and stare at the stones; while behind the trees, the living file past, whispering the truth into my ear:

"You knew."

Stockton Gala Days
That summer fields grew high with foxglove stalks and ivy.
Wild apple blossoms everywhere.
Emerald green like none I have seen apart from dreams that escape me.
There was no girl as warm as you.

How I've learned to please, to doubt myself in need,
You'll never, you'll never know.

The summer fields grow high.
We made garland crowns in hiding, pulled stems of flowers from my hair.
Blue in the stream like none I have seen apart from dreams that escape me.
There was no girl as bold as you.

How I've learned to please, to doubt myself in need,
You'll never, you'll never know.
You'll never know.

Violet serene like none I have set apart from dreams that escape me.
There was no girl as warm as you.

How I've learned to please, to doubt myself in need.
You'll never, you'll never know.
You'll never know.

That summer fields grow high.
We had wildflower fever.
We had to lay down where they grow.

How I've learned to hide, how I've locked inside, you'd be surprised if shown.
But you'll never, you'll never know.