I hate it.
I think I could manage, even muster optimism, if I were not so sick (even after all this time) and it were not so shockingly windy and cold outside. The whipping wind compels me to stay inside, undercover, braced against the cold. I can scarcely breathe, I'm probably overmedicating, and I have no interest in prettying up for anything. To make matters worse -- or maybe better -- is that my sister and I have to plan and throw my parents' 40th wedding anniversary party, money money money, and then pay for my own wedding? Just feels a little off. My parents said we could have money or a honeymoon as our wedding gift and Attila and I chose the honeymoon, but still it would have been nice if they had offered to help with the wedding. It's irritating enough that Attila and I are separated...we talk about it constantly and HATE it and the whole effing procedure to get him over here; but add onto that trying to plan my parents party, pay for that, arrange a wedding and pay for THAT, and I just don't want to do it.
Well here's an immediate update!
Attila and I have been online together for a few hours, and we JUST spoke about the wedding and when I told him how I was feeling, he said he was feeling the EXACT same way. We've decided to do otherwise. We're just going to wake up one day or just look at the forecast sometime and say "HEY, THAT'S the day," and we'll make some calls and pack some picnics and just head to the beach to get married. We are SO in sync with this I just love it. I know this will ruffle feathers but I don't care because we have to do what's right for US.
*sigh* relief!
Now if only it would snow.
2 comments:
I wish I could come to the wedding! that sounds like the perfect plan!
Oh I wish you could, too! Thank you for saying it sounds perfect...I will probably need support once I inform some people that we're dispensing with formalities.
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